2010 CPM Marriage And Mentors Conference Comments
I, too, am still trying to come down to earth. Being in that environment where you have a common thread you have needed all your life is very overwhelming. Especially one where both husbands and wives are willing to discuss it. I've asked myself why can't real life be like this? Why can't we share openly without judgment our struggles? How much more healthy we would be!! Confession and honesty is now my motto. I was somewhat depressed when I got home Sunday afternoon as well. I didn't want to leave Midland. I thought I would have been ready to go but I wanted more. What Patrick Payton said stuck with me...we cannot be about being a group of men (and women) with the same struggle or problems who sit around "licking our wounds" and feeling sorry for ourselves. With have to know others with different struggles are out there who fight just as hard with theirs. We may not understand their struggles either but we can offer compassion and love without judgment encouraging each other.
Struggler attendee, Mississippi
Thanks for your ministry, Mike. And for sharing your church. Returning to our church yesterday, and I normally like our church... was not easy.
Struggler attendee, Illinois
I want to thank both of you again for your ministry. I am convinced that each of your testimonies plays an important part in marriages making it through what the world says is an impossible situation. I looked across the room at you last night, Stephanie, and if I thought of sharing anything it would be that I believe the time you spent with my wife and your example are as important as anything to where we are today.
The conference was great. Mike, I know that a lot of hard work goes into planning it. Thanks to both of you and to all of Stonegate. My note may be short, but that doesn't reflect the gratitude that we feel or the special place you all will forever have in our hearts.
Struggler attendee, Texas
I just wanted to say thank you for trusting me to serve as a facilitator. I knew I would be blessed, but I had no idea how great I would be blessed. I met several great people that truly love God and totally understand His grace. I am very proud to be a part of CPM. Thank you again for yours and Stephanie's boldness and courage. You guys are amazing. Have a great day....
Stonegate volunteer
To all Stonegate Leadership, Organizer, Staff and Members from the bottom of my heart I thank God for all of you people for warm and hospitality you've shown to me and all the couples. God Bless! More Power!
Struggler attendee, Philippines
Mike, you will never know what this weekend meant to us personally. God used everything about it to encourage us, challenge us, open up new areas of healing and deepen our sense of God's call on our lives. We are in awe of all that God has done and is doing. Thanks again for inviting us to share our story. The opportunity was an answer to prayer for us! You, Stephanie and the wonderful people of Stonegate have blessed us. We will never forget how God has used you in our lives. We are closer to God and are stronger in our relationship with each other as a result. We praise God for you all! We are already looking forward to next year. Hey, do you think you might ever consider taking the conference on the road? Having it in another location? Just wondering?
Struggler attendee, Mississippi
The CPM conference this year was amazing. I expected God to work in my marriage, but I did not expect the magnitude in which He would show His mercy and grace to my heart. As the spouse of a wonderful man who struggles with SSA, I left Midland feeling refreshed, revived, and deeply loved. Crosspower Ministries, alongside Stonegate Fellowship, is a remarkable body of believers whom God has set aside for a calling that is so desperately needed in the lives of many couples. Thank you for reminding us that our God is far more desperate for our hearts and lives than the enemy could ever be. This year at the conference, I surrendered my title as the "spouse of the struggler" and I changed the way I view myself and my precious husband. I am, in fact, just another struggler who just happens to be blessed with an extraordinary marriage to an amazing man. Thank you for your kindness and support! - Oh yeah, the food was unbelievable also. Ya'll Texans know how to eat.
Spouse attendee, New Mexico
I want to thank you and Stonegate Fellowship, Pastor Patrick and the Cross Power staff from the bottom of my heart for this weekend!
We felt we had no hope at all before we came to the conference. Just knowing we were scheduled to be there helped us to hang on for many weeks before the conference. Just knowing someone out there understands and loves us unconditionally means more than I can describe to you with words. What we experienced there was amazing! The love from your staff and members melted our hearts and helped to draw me to repentance. I cried most of the time there. Every time we would walk into the room where we had the meetings I could not stop the tears from flowing like a steady river. I tried not to but could not help it. I know it must have been the presence of God and there must have been a lot of prayer in that room before we got there.
Before we came to the conference my wife said she would attend the conference and decide whether or not we stay together afterwards and depending on what God might do in our hearts there. Also before we attended, I asked God to perform a miracle in our hearts while there. I even had planned to take my own life after we would return home if I did not find some relief there at the conference. So during our time there we did receive a miracle!...........for one thing it was helpful for my wife to talk to and be with so many other spouses in the same boat as her. I believe she made friends that will remain.
In our first breakout session, Nita asked the question.... "What does hope look like to you right now?". and when it came my turn to answer, I could only say "I do not know what hope looks like right now because I do not see that there is any hope for me". After this weekend and what God did in my heart I can now answer that question differently...........to me now after the ministry I received at the conference............."Hope looks like people like Nita and people like Mike and Stephanie Goeke.....Hope looks like the leaders and staff at Stonegate and Cross Power Ministries!......Hope looks like the Jesus in all of you!.....Hope looks like Jesus!"
I had completely closed my heart and built a wall between me and Father God. I had not been able to worship for almost a year ( I was closed down in my heart like Fort Knox) and to think I had been a worship leader for over 25 years before. So Sunday Morning came...and I felt I needed to make a decision and put action to my decision...then during the first service which I cried through and not being able to worship I went to Mike and rededicated my life to Jesus and asked Jesus to forgive me of my sin and give me a new start then afterward I experienced what felt like a heaviness leave me like it was lifted off my shoulders. Then after that first service we went to a counseling appointment we had with Pastor John which was a miracle appointment for us thanks to the staff in our breakout sessions. God used Pastor John to get to the root our my struggles and I now have hope that someone can help me with some difficult issues from my childhood. I believe it was a miracle appointment for my wife as well. We then went back over to the church and attended one of the other services again. It was during that service that I was able to freely worship again and the wall between me and Jesus was gone.
Thank you Jesus and thank you Mike and Stephanie for your obedience to answer the call on your lives and do the difficult things in order to help others. To me........."Hope looks like you...... and Jesus in you! Hope looks like Jesus!"
Struggler attendee, Florida
Wow, I'm having a hard time finding words to express how thankful I am for all you have done for us. The love and accpetance we felt at the conference was like healing balm! The teaching sessions brought truth to us that refreshed our souls. Especially Patrick's teaching on the way the enemy attacks us brought great hope. The teaching on communication for marriage is very powerful and we have been working through that on several issues. I'm amazed at how many lies I had been believing but was not conscious of.
The breakout groups were wonderful. At first I was kind of upset that we had this red neck for a facilitator. After all how could he relate to us and our issues? After the first session his love won me over. He did skirm a bit as hearing our junk was a stretch for him. Yet he responded with love and was vulnerable with sharing his own issues. As I look back it was a great gift to get to know Dean and learn that a redneck could turn out to be a friend in Christ.
We had been serving God in Africa as missionarys for 8 years when we were sent home for SSA issues. We have been feeling unable to move back into serving God fully even though 7 years have gone by since we left the field. This conference helped us see that God is not through with us and that we are in His grip. We want to say thank you from the bottom of our hearts.
We are praying we can return with a mentor couple next year.
Rejoicing in His love that was expressed through Stonegate,
Struggler attendee, Minnesota
First of all, we have decided to spend some time each day reading the Bible and praying together. We have decided that we have to make more effort to make this happen. We have rarely done this in our marriage and when we have tried, it has always fallen by the side after a few weeks or a month. We pray that we will have a greater resolve this time, and I feel that some shifts have taken place in both of us these past few months to make it a more realistic goal this time around.
The session on communication was very helpful, and again, we feel that it was a good refresher for us to get back on track with healthier ways of fighting/arguing, hopefully to avoid the "shut downs".
Finally, I came back with an openness to sharing some details of the conference with at least two of my work colleagues that I had in mind. One is a new believer, and the other is not a believer at all. Today, I was at work, and my colleague (the new believer) was asking so many questions about the conference, that I decided to tell her that it was for people in marriages where SSA is an issue. She gave me a big hug, shed a few tears, and told me her husband struggled with SSA, and that "finally she had someone who understood what she was going through". We are going for lunch on Friday to talk more. Is that a miracle or divine appointment? I think so.
Spouse attendee, Canada
What a joy it was to fellowship with all of these sweet couples! It was hard to see them go. I took two couples to the airport Sunday morning and one of the men hugged me like he didn't want to let go and kept thanking me over and over again. He couldn't believe our generosity and love for people we had not even met before. I wept as I drove off because they were so grateful and loving towards me. My heart grows more tender every time I am around all of these wonderful, loving people. I long for a day when we can have this same feeling within the church body. Where people share their hurts and we can love on each other with out any judgment of any kind. Thank you Mike for searching out God's will in your life and for including us in this ministry.
Stonegate Volunteer
We are home…sadly it is cooler here…we loved the warm break we had down there. Yesterday we went through some post conference blues. It was difficult communicating and then the words…your spouse is not your enemy…you are not the enemy…popped into my head…and we prayed, claimed the promises of God and that no weapon formed against us will prosper.
We are again, so thankful to have had the opportunity to be in Midland at the conference. What a rich time it was for us as a couple. We realized just how much we needed the conference as a refresher and we received so much wisdom and insight into our marriage. The Lord God is so good.
To those who financially helped us come down, we are grateful. Grateful to be offered this gift to strengthen our marriage but also to gain insight to help other marriages impacted by the issue of homosexuality. It was great to be able to come with a couple who is just at the beginning of this journey, who needed this conference so desperately and needed to see community such as Stonegate (they do not have a welcoming community where they live). Our hearts are for marriage, and specifically walking with those who are in crisis. So thank you, for all you gave to us, for it far exceeds the financial gift, rather, you gave us richness that money cannot buy.
Struggler attendee, Canada
I had an amazing time with all of the members of our group. They embraced the rules and were open and honest and transparent from the beginning. I don't know if the fact that Dean and I have a history of kidding around even when we are talking about heart issues had anything to do with it or not. But our group was great. Thanks for letting me be a part of the weekend! I have heard from all of them this week. That is exciting! And we are sharing prayer requests via e-mail. So thanks for that.
Stonegate Volunteer
"Thank you" is such an inadequate set of words to express our gratitude for this past weekend at the CPM Marriage & Mentors Conference, and yet they are the only words that we have to express our feelings.
We were so touched and humbled by the love that the people of Stonegate showed us - Leon was right! He said that we would feel more loved than we'd ever experienced before ... and we were. You guys out-loved our church and we realized that we have to raise our game in order to love people more.
What impacted us more than anything was the absolute model of servanthood that Stonegate modeled. We serve others in our church - it's just what we do and who we are, and we love doing it. For whatever reason, it's very difficult to accept or receive servanthood from others, and yet we had no choice. The people of Stonegate showed such love and joy in their servanthood that it would have been entirely wrong to strip them of that privilege to serve. We are so grateful for their ministry, love, and hearts for people, especially those of us who have had less-than-ideal receptions in our local churches because of our struggles.
Stonegate went so far above and beyond in this conference: the speakers were amazing and I'm still going back over my notes; the food was incredible; and the hospitality absolutely floored us.
So thank you, Stonegate Fellowship. For blowing our minds wide open, for serving us, for loving us, and for "being Jesus with skin on."
Spouse Attendee, Michigan
Dear Mike, Stephanie, Kara and all of Stonegate and Cross Power Ministries - Words cannot express our gratitude enough for the wonderful conference and for all the financial help to make it possible for us to attend. You are more generous than we've ever seen. May the Lord richly bless you all for all you give to enrich and bless our lives and to help us on our journey!!!!!!
The sessions were so helpful, the small groups were great (would like more time for those:), the food was delicious, the fellowship was sweet and meaningful. Our lives were deeply touched.
Thanks for your sacrifice of so much for us!
Attendees, Texas
Dear Stonegate fellowship friends and brothers, there are not words to express our gratitude to you. Since last year the CPM Conference was a landmark in our marriage. This last one was the second one for us and we enjoyed it a lot more since we already overcome the "freaky and scary" first stage of opening my "secret" to my wife last year. It was amazing when I saw my wife comforting and encouraging a new participant wife as somebody did to her last year (as they said this was their last chance for their marriage). This was the Love of God working and moving in the CPM Conference! Is there any better proof your affords are very worthy? Please do not doubt this conference is making a difference in the lives of many marriages and God is the one who established the marriage! In a time where marriage is at high risk, you are absolutely a blessing!
Attendees, Texas
Mike, we had an incredible time. I went with total apprehension, of course hoping for the best, but guarding my hopes and expectations. Your team of wonderful saints threw for a curve! While I anticipated kindness (i.e. we all ARE christians), I didn't expect the acceptance, generosity, and REAL interest in me, in us, shown by the Stonegate body.
If I've ever experienced something like heaven on earth for a short while, I would have to say last weekend came extremely close...and no you Midland'ers, it's not because the conference happened to be in your home town :), it was because there was love, there was acceptance, there was peace, genuineness, kindness, smiles...and some darn good cooks!
This was, by far, the best marriage conference we have ever experienced. The teachings applied to everyone regardless of marital issue. You have a beautiful body of Christ in Midland. Please tell everyone involved...Well done, good and faithful servants!
We love you guys and look VERY forward to the year zooming by so we can all get together again!
Struggler attendee, Missouri
Hope you guys are getting some well deserved rest from the conference. First, let me say to Kara, it was a real pleasure to meet you. For Tami and I this year felt different from the past two years in that we have moved forward in our healing so we were able to relax and take in the great teaching we heard and receive all the love that you Stonegate people lavish on the attendees each year. We also felt the Lord had us there to encourage others that have just started their journey. We really enjoyed Troy and Melissa's teaching on communication and how to break the cycle before it gets out of control and to think about our thoughts as well as our feelings. Great stuff!! Having come to the first M&M conference just 4 months into this journey together, we can say that Stonegate Fellowship, the M&M conference, and Mike and Steph. have been instrumental in our healing and I know some of where we are today is because of those things. We love you guys more than words can express and thank God for bringing you all into our lives.
Struggler attendee, Florida
The conference was once again beyond AMAZING!!! I wholeheartedly recommend memorizing the names to all die hard volunteers. It helped me take more initiative to meet as many as I could. And now the pay off: I can pray for them in the car while I'm driving because I don't have to take my eyes off the road. And best of all now many of their names pop up with pictures in my mind. So I am praying for them at least once a day instead of listening to music or talk radio.
It has been fun finding and befriending so many of them on FaceBook.
Stonegate volunteer
I must begin by saying that I have never experienced hospitality like I did at this conference. It was by far the most memorable event I have attended.
One thing that I wanted to share with you that was such a surprise and a blessing was my friend Louis. He was such a blessing to me while I was at the conference for many different things. He made me feel like he was my personal volunteer while I was there.
When we were at church on Sunday morning I noticed Louis and several other men had on these really cool belts. They weren’t too western but had really nice metal crosses around the belt. Chad, Stanley and I were standing there talking with Louis in the lobby and I asked him where he got the belt as I had noticed several of the men had them on. He told me that they got them at Woods Boots and where they were located. I told him I’d get Rich to swing by there on the way to the airport so I could pick one up because I really liked them. Without even hesitating he said “No you won’t”. He took his belt off right there and handed it to me and said, “Now you have one.” I have to say I was completely at a loss for words (which doesn’t happen often) and then he walked away before I could even respond. You have an amazing group of people there in Midland, Texas.
Lastly, attending this conference has given me much hope for the future. You have such an incredible ministry and an incredible wife. I told Carrie coming home that you can look at Stephanie, deep in her eyes, and see that peace that surpasses all understanding. She has that resolve that no matter what the world says or what people think or say, she’s loves her man and everybody else can just sit down if they don’t like it.
The conference had a huge impact on me personally. God did a work in me and opened my eyes a lot to a lot of things in regards to relationships and marriage on such a deeper level than I had anticipated.
Mentor, Florida
Wow…where do I begin? I really don’t know if there are words for what this weekend meant to me and my family. After a life long struggle with SSA and an eight year struggle with sex addiction, I have felt hopeless to overcome the emotional and physical wounds of my childhood, and ultimately the shame of giving into the confusion and sexual temptations. Before the weekend, I was the fatherless, the shamed, and the unloved. The enemy wanted nothing more than to keep me living in shame, f ear, and to whisper “You’re not good enough.”; “You will never change.” ; “This is who you are.”; and his favorite “No one cares about you.”
Of course, life brings its own challenges and disappointments. Attending the CPM retreat was our last attempt to keep an 18 year marriage together. Our three beautiful daughters were unaware that their parents were deciding how we would raise them without living as a family anymore. You see, after a year of sobriety, I acted out in December and confessed it to my wife. It wasn’t the first time I had confessed, but from everything that we both had gone through…it felt like it was truly the end. I had given up any hopes of trying to keep it together and was ready for the inevitable. I personally didn’t have any fight left. I was on “Empty” physically, emotionally, and most importantly spiritually. In fact, it was completely a miracle that we were able to attend in the first place. Satan fought us so hard before
going.
From the beginning, the people of Stonegate (God’s people) were absolutely amazing with the love they poured on us. They were so gracious, welcoming, but most of all, they were different from any church body I had ever experienced. For once in my life, I didn’t feel like I was “different” or that my sin was worse than anyone else’s. I didn’t see judgment in their eyes and strangely, instead I saw acceptance and even love. I had always quietly suffered thinking that my sin was worse than anyone’s. I was guilty of the “Icky Sin” and al ways felt I was not redeemable by God. I had actually heard a member at my own church use the words “Icky Sin”, referring to homosexuality. Those words played many times in mind. You see, there are many people sitting in pews each week that share the same doubts, shame, and secrets. They have nowhere to go or a place they feel safe. The weight of this burden is unexplainable. I cannot even begin to tell you the precious gift you gave me and my wife in just caring for us. The memories, the feelings of acceptance, and even love for complete strangers will last a
lifetime. And, in our case, we wouldn’t have been able to attend without the special monetary gift from a complete stranger, showing the love of God toward us. Thank you so much and God Bless you for that.
I knew this weekend was going to be a pivotal point in our lives. Decisions were going to be made that had long lasting effects. God showed up! Each sermon, each song that was sung, and every break- out session worked as an instrument for God to speak to us. To listen and to let things soak into our hearts. Yes, there were painful emotions to sort through during the conference, but each time, there was love and acceptance there to meet them. It provided the time my wife and I needed to get away from “life” and to listen to each other, and most importantly to GOD. My wife and I have always loved each other, but this struggle is one that can’t be beat without God’s power. Gee, I guess this is true for all sin, isn’t
it? Amazing, just being able to realize this means God’s truth is seeping into my heart. I know I could not have understood that comment before this past weekend.
Only God has the power to beat this struggle and best of all, to redeem it. But, God needs hands and feet on this earth and I want you to know that the precious people of Stonegate were those hands and feet of God during the CPM conference.
Well…coming to the end of the weekend, my wife and I decided that we would TRUST GOD LIKE WE NEVER HAVE BEFORE. We each made a commitment t o invite God into a deeper personal relationship. We invited God into the center of our marriage, to heal the hurts, to accept grace from one another, and to finally restore our marriage to the place of holy union that God intended. During the Saturday night Banquet, I thought it so fitting to invite “Acts of Renewal” to perform for the attendees. But, for a couple from Dallas, acts of renewal meant far deeper words. The weekend was an act of renewal in so many ways. A renewal of our marriage, a renewal of our family, a renewal of hope, but praise God it was a renewal of our commitment to our wonderful creator.
I came to the CPM Retreat feeling like the father less, the shameful, and the unloved. I left knowing who my real father is. I know he has redeemed me and made me like pure water (loved that sermon by the way), and that he loves me without any conditions. Yes….a complete miracle. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I owe so much to the awesome people of God, named Stonegate. We love YOU!
Struggler attendee, Texas
I feel as though a little bit of heaven touched me in Texas.
Coming to the a Southern Baptist church, in Texas, for a conference with anything to do with same sex, conjured up any number of not so pleasant thoughts; but Paula and Kenny Warkentin were persistent in their encouragement. Lloyd, my husband, took care of all the plans and communication. I disengaged, sure that this was just a waste of time. The rocky road of our marriage was over as far as I could see; this was just another band aid on a major artery wound. Enter: Leon and Marsha and Dean and Troy and Mellissa and so many people....staff and pastors..all Stonegaters who mediated the love of Christ to my heart...in a church.
Coming present to Christ in my life has been an incredible journey; the church however has been a condemning and hurtful place. You poured oil into those wounds and let me see the church as it needs to be. My heart was overwhelmed and I cried many tears...it just became the norm. You knew my name, you wore a band around your wrist, you looked me in the eye, you did not hide the kids, you loved on me in ways that broke my hardened heart. For the first time in my walk with Christ, I felt safe in a church.
And then I began to meet and engage with others impacted, as our marriage is, by homosexuality. I feel as though my soul took a deep breath. In each session I heard truth. At one point, (Pastor) Scott used glasses of water and dirt to illustrate. I saw my life depicted: cleansed, sealed by the Holy Spirit and protected. Only later did the l understand that was also a depiction of my marriage. In every teaching, breakout group and conversation I heard one message....hope. No one candy coated the impact , the struggle or the work required, but they helped me see truth. That being, we as the strugglers and our spouses in our marriages battle the same communication and intimacy issues as every marriage does. I made a choice Saturday noon at the conference that my marriage is "not on the table', any longer. That Canadian expression means, our relationship/marriage is not open for discussion.....we are not even entertaining separation or divorce.
Your Missions Department made our coming possible. To those of you on the Missions Committee, thank you. Your generous gift enabled Christ to work a miracle in my heart that has begun the restoration of our marriage.
Mike and Stephanie, your journey, transparency and commitment to this ministry are incredible. Thank you for what it has taken in tears, pain and work to reach where you stand today. I see hope in where you stand.
I want to come back...we want to come back next year. We started planning. My husband is voicing a hearty 'amen' to this email.
Struggler attendee, Canada
A Letter to Myself April 12, 2010
Dear ______,
The last few days have been incredibly moving and I am writing today to make sure that you do not forget what God has impressed upon your heart. You see, I know that as time passes, the enemy will be working on you to cause you to forget the love, the power, the truth, the fellowship and the significance of the CPM conference you just attended. The enemy will be waiting with stresses at work, busyness of family activities, family tension, the same old subtle lies and the daily grind. He’ll also be throwing those temptations your way…you know the ones. He knows your vulnerabilities and weak-spots and will attack you and __________ with doubts, accusations, guilt and thoughts of impossibility.
If this life is a race as Paul speaks of in 1 Corinthians and Hebrews 12, then it must be a marathon. I don’t know where you are at in that marathon, but I do know this past weekend was a mile-marker. It was a place and time where God took you to an aid station that you didn’t know existed and he filled you with food and encouragement that you didn’t know you needed.
So, I want you to pay attention to this Scott, because God moved in you this weekend and you will never be the same because of it.
REMEMBER…God loves you. You are his adopted son. You are righteous. You are sealed by the Holy Spirit. Your righteousness (from Christ) can not be stained by the sin that has already been paid for because YOU ARE SEALED. You are secure in Christ.
“But now he has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation…” COL 1:22
“Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession – to the praise of his glory.” EPH 1:13b-14
REMEMBER…the “I AM” is in you and that’s who you are.
“9For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, 10and you have been given fullness in Christ, who is the head over every power and authority.” COL 2:9-10
THINK…to give God the lead. You tend to forget to put God first and slip into trying to fix yourself, focusing on your thoughts and behaviors. Trying to change behavior is the wrong focus. It is not about how hard you work, but it’s about God’s love. It’s only by God’s love that you will change. Focus on the source of strength. Seek Him First. Do NOT trust yourself. TRUST IN THE LORD.
“6So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, 7rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.” COL 2:6
“For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.” 1 TIM 1:7
“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” MT 6:33
REMEMBER…that everyone is broken, everyone hurts and everyone struggles with something because everyone sins. Your brokenness is not special, just tailor-made for you by the enemy. The Lord will use your story to help and encourage others. Others need you and you need others. But, keep in mind that your tendency is to hide. You like to look good to others. Authenticity and transparency is not natural to you.
DO NOT OVERLOOK…the enemy who wants you to focus on the past. When you hear accusations, and feel shame and guilt, the enemy is at work. He can not steal what Christ has done in your heart, but he can keep you from enjoying it. All he has is your skeletons and he wants to constantly rattle the bones of what you were. Do not listen to it. He can not have your soul.
The enemy wants you to believe that freedom is the absence of struggle; in actuality, freedom is not so much the absence of struggle as it is the belief that the struggle is not in vain.
Fighting temptations and hope of healing and restoration are foolishness to the world and our culture.
Most of all and don’t you forget it, you are not gay; you are not a homosexual. You are a child of God. You are righteous. You are saved. You are loved.
KNOW THIS…that you are not isolated; that is a ploy of the enemy. Many share your struggle, from all walks of life, all ages, colors, shapes and sizes. Remember the awesome brothers you met that encouraged you; Mike, Brady, David, Andy, Mark, Joe, Craig, Peter, Nick, Jim, Ty, Kenny and so on. Think of their spouses who struggle along side them and engage in their own battles, who honor the covenant they made before God, who stand against the wisdom of the world that labels them as fools and doormats. God bless and heal these women and their marriages. Know that God is using your marriage to bring out and address the brokenness in your life.
DO NOT FORGET…that Jesus Christ changes lives. Think of Mike & Stephanie, Hal & Lisa, Troy & Melissa, Kenny and Paula…what hope and encouragement they bring with personal healing and richly restored marriages…as they struggle forward, together, trusting the LORD first.
LOOK BACK AND RECALL…the love of Christ given through the body at Stonegate Fellowship. You had never experienced such a welcome and outpouring. Mike, Patrick, Tyler, Jay, Scott, Leon, Dean, Hank, Laura, Louis, Priscilla and so many others you met. From the first e-mails of encouragement to the transportation, greeters, the food, worship, décor, messages, small group leaders, the incredible banquet and the blessing and send off at church on Sunday. The love of Christ flowed freely from the saints in Midland and your heart was flooded.
KNOW THAT…masculinity is not defined by your past, your gifts, skills, activities, interests, body type, size, voice or looks. Masculinity is defined by your surrender and trust in Christ and your willingness to fight, to press on in your salvation.
REMEMBER…your wife, who loves you and labors beside you in her own struggles toward wholeness. She is not the enemy…she loves you. When you are tempted to worry about and for her, or to be troubled by her emotions, entrust her to God.
RECOUNT…all the ways God showed that his hand was specifically in the plans for this conference, down to the finest details.
Bringing the conference to your attention through ________’s friend, Margaret
The ability to have the time off
Family who watched your kids, dog and home
The finances to make the trip
Tony and Theresa who joined you and Michelle in love and desire to walk with you (and how others longed for that kind of support back home)
Traveling all the way to Midland, TX to meet another couple from Reno
The different people from the conference God placed you with on planes, in airports, at meals, etc.
The final chance meeting in DFW airport with ______ and _________ for dinner
The introductions of new friends
The LORD cares about the details and is for your joy.
TAKE NOTE…that prior to now, you have never understood when others said they were “thankful” for their struggles. Today ______, you were thankful for your struggle, because it brought you to the feet of Jesus and prepared you to receive his love to a new depth.
“But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2COR 12:9-10
Lastly, REMEMBER these experiences and truths when things get tough, because they were real and they moved you deeply.
In his spirit of power, love and self-discipline,
Me
Struggler attendee, Nevada